Welcome to the West Wing

Finally got out of the house; went to the pub with Beno and Glennis and some friend of Glennis's. I drank too much and listened to Beno's latest plan to boost our fortunes.

"You want to what?" I asked.

"Open the house to guests."

More guests? "But why, for god's sake? Mother has enough people over at is."

"These are the best guests," Beno said, throwing an arm around Glennis's chair. "These are the guests you can ignore."

I shook my head. "Explain, please."

"We open up the West Wing to tours," Glennis said. "Just for antiquers and architecture enthusiasts."

It's so bloody annoying that she already knew about this. "Look, maybe I don't understand the new Britain," I said, "but do you really think there are enough boring old grannies out there interested in our unused ashtrays to make this sort of thing worthwhile?"

Actually," Beno interrupted, "the foundation gets a lot of requests for public viewings of the house, and your Great-Uncle Max had a surprisingly valuable set of Victorian porcelain."

"So what we would we have to do?" I demanded.

"You? You don't have to do anything. I'll let you know when we set it up."

"But, my word, what if I have to go to the west wing for something?

"Maylis," my sister said, rubbing your head "we'll give you enough time to get everything out." I resist the urge to smack her and get another round for the table.

Beno sips his scotch. "It'll take a few months, and some publicity. Glennis is going to do some ads to be placed in the usual places. It'll be a destination in the summer, or during hunting season."

Glennis tilts her head. "No, not hunting season, please." Glennis hates the idea of hunting.

"Can't help it, darling," Beno said, firmly. "A lot of people still go out to the country to hunt."

"I'm sorry to interrupt," I said, "but I have to agree with my sister on this one. It's bad enought to have strangers romping through your west wing without worrying about them being armed and dangerous."

He looked at us with frustration. "I would do a lot better for this family if I didn't tell you two what I'm planning," he finally said.

Glennis rubbed his arm. "Don't worry, darling, we still appreciate you."

Can you blame me for drinking until I passed out? Glennis helped me get into bed. I don't remember much by I did manage to steal fags from her coat pocket.

Victorian porcelain. Jesus.